♥

Thursday, March 29, 2007

today is his last day at work. i expect future days at work to be boring, and lonely. i think i have this problem with getting along with people. i just dont feel close, neither can i communicate with them. its like this communication barrier i have to overcome to survive.

did i mention that i only have $13 in my bank acc being the active one? ohmygodwhatthefuck! i was sooooo shocked and i practically went into a state of hysteria! i didnt know i spent soooo much.. gotta curb those spendings man.. and i have to prevent myself from going into spree websites.. all these gotta stop man.. it HAS TO STOP! hopefully last week's salary is going to come through once i submitted the timesheet. sheeeshh!

and my friends, do stop me if i enter any shop. stop me from buying unnecessary stuff!

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Posted by faintheart at 10:31 AM

♥

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

when wilfulness and stubborness kicks in,
everything falls..
not into place, but out of place; everywhere
i wonder where i developed this distasteful habit of ignoring people when im just slightly angry. perhaps its just a way of self protection gone wrong.

and he says that i'll go into bouts of depression whenever i encounter some problem. maybe its true.. any friend can testify this for me?

i love this song playing on my blog. the lyrics are so so us.. i see our shadow in that song.

the last musical fountain was great! considering the fact that the previous one i saw was so lacklustre due to some technical faults. yes and kiki is cute! and the photos we took were so weird! i looked damn ugly and shagged. shit. i look so darn terrible without makeup. i think i slap alot of blusher on and i certainly cant do without it. fucking shit. it really sucks to have to rely on makeup to make myself look more presentable. must be my eyebags! urghs! gotta buy some eye cream!!!

gonna treat that guy who says i have depression dinner later cos i feel guilty being wilful and stubborn. fish & co! yay can drink my passionade! i still hv a jolly shandy at home and i hv yet to drink it! i hid it in my paper bag but my mum took it out! ohshit! but they didnt say anything so alrights!

so next thurs is st james'ing! woohoo! see if vera's hypothesis is true!

and why did i forget all my bio! now i dont really hv confidence in teaching my cousin bio. even though she's in sec 3! tkgs for fuck's sake!

woah im super vulgar.. no offence!

super random..

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Posted by faintheart at 5:02 PM

♥say anything.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Here I am on
The phone again, and
Awkward silence is
On the other end
I used to know the sound
Of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now)
All I feel (All I feel)
Is the pain of the fighting
Starting up again
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Some say that
Time changes
Best friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No, not for you
If you just stay with me, we can make it through
So Here we are again
The same old argument
And now
I'm wonderin'
If things'll ever change, yeah
When will you laugh again?
Laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise til 3 AM and the neighbors would complain
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
i randomly found this song off the net. its funny how a song can be related to your life. how did those composers ever know that a single soul on earth faces such problems. perhaps that is why i love to listen to songs so much. they're my solace on buses. especially long bus rides. how i miss those long bus rides to school, where i'll just plug my earphones into my ears and think about alot of things. every single line of this song seems to ring in my ear. its telling me "HEY thats what things are!". how pathetic. i cant even tell it apart myself. thats really really sad.

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Posted by faintheart at 9:49 PM

♥

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

if only that little porcupine didnt leave his trusty safe home,
he wouldnt have met that fiercesome wolf,
and wouldn't have lost his pines.

sometimes work is nice.
no wonder people get drunk in working.

Posted by faintheart at 2:13 PM

♥really???

Thursday, March 15, 2007

my conversation with vera goes like this...

vera: shulin's blog is like the 'i am very happy' kind.

vera: my blog is like 'the sun is shining very brightly' kind.

vera: your blog is like 'i look up at the clouds and i see the sunlight peering through' kind.

me: my blog where got so chim!

ok.. maybe vera didnt say the exact words i wrote cos i forgot what she said! but you get the idea? she's saying shulin's blog is the damn straightforward kind (and that is good ok shulin!!!) while her's is the kind where you need to read the second line and infer before you get the entire meaning. for me? you have to read the whole paragraph before you understand what im saying.

hey is that true?????

maybe im having repercussions from work or the lit ghost had me possessed.
maybe its simply my style!

wow a cool style it is.. keeps people guessing! no wonder my boyfriend cant really read my mind.. oh shucks.. ok! i'll only make other people guess. my boyfriend? nope so sorry wrong number! you cant guess! you gotta DO THE RIGHT THING!!!

hmmm meeting up with vera darling on sat.. hopefully it will be a one date and not a one&ahalf date cos my other half aint coming.

kai.. pls pls pls dont come!

haha.. nevermind im not that heartless alright? you may come be our BUTLER! yay! help us carry our stuff, buy food, and follow us around! hey but no problem, i'll make sure you still have one hand to hold vera darling's hand! =)

vera, is this more straightforward now? tag pls!

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Posted by faintheart at 8:21 PM

♥

The most stupid choice I’ve ever made in my 18 years of mere existence is to come to my boyfriend’s mum’s office to work. Perhaps others have already deemed it as a mistake long before I could realize but I still allow myself to plunge into this sea of animosity. People are all but the same. You never know when someone’s stabbing you at the back. Some remarks may prove fatal to another. Eyes of concern may wind up condescending.

human nature.

i just dont like people to associate me with my boyfriend or any one related to him. but ironically, the truth is that i pulled strings to get into the office. for what? just for a higher pay and hopefully a better working environment. materialistic, yes. hankering for more attention, NO. why cant ppl treat me as a normal being, a normal office girl who has absolutely no relations to the boss's son at all? why stir up such a "status", if any? under any circumstances, i have convinced myself again that i have made a stupid decision.

why do people have certain assumptions about others. why do you have to create this certain 'belief' about a person's character when you know nothing about the person's true self? why do they simply 'assume' that they are that sort of person? or assume that i will work in the company in future simply because i chose to take up business?

i see disapproving eyes whenever i mention that im working in his mum's company. barron even said that he will never work in his gf's mum's office or whatsoever. thanks alot friend. everything and anything just reilliterates the fact that all in all its a dumb and brainless choice.

wait.

so what if i know? so what if i dont know? all i want is to not know. live in my bubble and just believe that people dont have underlying meanings under their words.

anyway, there's no way out.
its too deep to climb out.

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Posted by faintheart at 9:39 AM

♥l.o.v.e

Sunday, March 11, 2007

for the ones who sealed their love on the ferris wheel..

When you smile my life becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep at midnight
I'll be hypnotized
when looked into your eyes
turn off the room light
let's spend the night

Take me to far away　
Away to your secret place　
Take my tears my fears　
Take all my pain for which　
I'll repay
Someday with a kiss and say　
Can't believe that I'm in love　
in love again

When the stars don't shine
And when the birds don't fly
And when the flowers cry
And when the rain runs dry
When the violet's red
and when the rose turn blue
Baby I'll still be in love with you

you know,
the ferris wheel,
it just keeps going round and round and round.
even if the surroundings ever change,
i believe that the ones inside will remain the same.

love is pure,
lethal like alcohol
yet undeniably addictive.
get lost in it,
or indulge in it.

love needs no words.
actions prove everything.
because when you held her hand for the first time,
it speaks the words "be mine"..

let it grow,
where rays of love would shine on it.
basked in warmth,
may both of you seek comfort within each other.


<3

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Posted by faintheart at 9:11 PM

♥

Friday, March 09, 2007

Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
you'll see i wont even miss you
Someday someday

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Posted by faintheart at 12:22 AM

♥office smalltalk

Thursday, March 08, 2007

i think im some pathetic wuss.. i just switched my blogger to the new blogger.

DAMN!

to think i was so adamant about not changing to the new blogger. i guess stef's right. i'll have to change it sooner or later. gee this sucks. conforming isnt my idea of greatness. i would simply not conform to anything! but somehow or rather we find ourselves having to fit into this society by conforming to certain ideals because we would rather be free of discerning eyes. perhaps simplicity is greatness. and for simplicity's sake, we conform.

so after typing all that crap in the above paragraph, i realised that the above bullshit crap has got nothing to do with my current life now! in case you dont know what im doing now, i'm actually working in an office doing all the things people deem as unimportant compared to the rest of the things they're supposed to do. thus, all these days, i've been repeating the same routine. work, eat, work, watch tv, sleep. work, eat, work, watch tv, sleep... ok you get the idea.. but its okay! i'll treat all these things as my training for my future jobs! at least working now makes me realise the importance of a person's character.

but for now, i kind of enjoy office life. at least time passes much quickly and i get access to the internet all the time! (gives way to slacking moments!) there are pros and cons to a job. somehow this office job made me appreciate the beauty of my sentosa job. it made me realise that i prefer interaction with people rather than paper and paper and more PAPER! oh well.. the little ironies of life as such.. but one thing sad about me is that i have yet to interact much with my colleages.. im shunned to this little corner in the office and it has 2 levels. well, they're mostly grown-ups and the topics that we can talk about are very limited. i guess im the youngest there and in terms of maturity, definitely. but there's this guy who reminds me of samuel. i have yet talked to him and i hope things turn out great! afterall he's the next young thing of the company!

so right now i have to wait for my boss to give me more work cos i kind of complete them really fast so the next day i'll end up bored the whole morning. i just helped another colleague with her stuff and e office has been really empty since lunch. sheesh boss come back pls!

Posted by faintheart at 1:09 PM