♥

Thursday, February 08, 2007

im not sure if i've done enough..
i must have been lousy at my job and caused everything that has happened to be like that.
i tried my best, i really did.
perhaps it just wasnt enough.
hopefully it's just that.
i've tried my best,
we had tried our best.
why didnt you just acknowledge that?
is it in your nature to just dismiss that, and concentrate on the negative side of our character?
why push the blame to us when none of us were at fault?
why vent the anger on us when we're purely innocent?
why vent it on me?
why ME?

i've been a less perfect daughter, i admit.
i dont wash the clothes, and neither do i help you with your household chores.
all i did was change a channel cos my brother wanted to watch it and you just threw that remote control away.
perhaps the only damage to the remote control was a loosened battery.
all you have to do is just to fix the battery back and its working again.
maybe you didnt know that when you threw that remote control on the floor, you broke not my heart, but my faith in you..
my faith that you as a mother you would love us no matter what.
i want to shower you with all the love i can give you.
im not sure if you did.
i have my imperfections. very flawed ones.
you have as well.
why impose your imperfections on me.

and when we all show concern for a certain one,
you too dismiss all concerns.
i dont even know if you took it in.
you probably just fucking threw it away.
maybe it was a waste of breath talking to you, hoping that you'll be well..
you're a disappointment.

faith.
is that all we need?
or do we need a whole lot of adjetives to make us better?

i dont believe in myself anymore.
this home, just feels...
so cold..
too cold till i cant take it anymore.

Posted by faintheart at 10:21 PM